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Lilly’s Losers

September 14th, 2017

Hall County High School Football

Week 3 had lots and lots of points on the board. The North Nation fought valiantly to slay the dragons but ended up smoked again. The warbirds got back on the right flight path while beating a Fannin County team in trouble with the PC police. Coach Hall’s soaring Falcons are now 3-0 with a big win over the tribe of Stephens County. The Lions of Lakeview were left with their tails between their legs after a catfight with Commerce, and the Vikings conquered more new land down in the Sky Blues south side dungeon.


Posted by Buttermilk:

East Hall VS. Jackson County

The Vikings will be looking to once again plunder new land down in Jackson County. The giant kitty cats will be fierce in guarding their territory, and they are spitting mad after losing a big one last week. Look for the men in animal fur to send the cats up a tree.

Lilly’s Loser- Jackson County


Chestatee VS. Lumpkin County

The Sardis warbirds will fly around the Lumpkin Indians and try to stop the war drums from beating all-night. These Indians appear to be a happy, peaceful tribe, so I doubt they will have on the face paint for battle. Look for the talons to come out and chase off the only one feather squaws.

 Lilly’s Loser- Lumpkin County


Flower Branch VS. Jefferson

Coach Hall will take his soaring horticulture school back to his former home for a battle of the beasts.  The giant fire-breathing lizards will not be kind to their old coach, and the field will be hot hot hot on the night. The fighting flowers have looked good so far this season, but they will for sure wilt under the heat of the Dragons.

 Lilly’s Loser- Flowery Branch


West Hall VS. Dawson County

The Lotti Lads of West Hall will march into Dawson County and try to spear the striped cats in the jungle. Dawson has been awesome so far this year with a 3-0 record. This will be a close game between two well-coached teams. However, I like the Lads to bring more heat from the Hot Gates and melt Dawson hopes of a win. In a close one.

 Lilly’s Loser- Dawson County


North Hall VS. White County

This two schools just flat don’t like each other! In the past, these two schools have waged might battles over their homelands. However, this will be a short skirmish of the northern neighbors with the blue and white flag planted in the ground. The warriors will storm into Trojan land and crush the Greeks into an excellent virgin olive oil. In a blowout.

Lilly’s Loser- North Hall


College Football

Well the UGA Cannes stole the pot of gold from the Irish in a real close one. The Cocks came up big and tamed the Mizzou Tigers for another big win. In a stunner Ohio State, we will never use The, got dust and dirt kicked in their faces by an impressive bunch of white wagons. The marron L. A. school cut down the goofy looking trees of Stanford. In the ACC Penn State won and seemed unimpressed with their opponent, and Clemson won the battle of the orange cats by crushing Auburn.


Posted by The Bookkeeper:

Second season coach Tom Herman drives his cattle to the Coliseum this weekend to try for an upset against the #4 Trojans. The Longhorns stampeded the Californians for a national title in 2006, but this year the horny herd faces an uphill battle. Keep in mind that Herman had a knack for knocking off top teams going 6-0 against the top 25 for the Houston Cougars, but I expect USC and freshman back Ronald Jones II to run through the bovines like new grass.

Lilly’s loser: Texas


Posted by the Jungle Cat:

Last week the Jungle Cat almost lost most of his spots due to a heavy dose of Clorox bleach. He was 0-2 and offers congratulations to Kirby’s canines on their great road victory at Notre Dame. When the Lord of Shamrocks shook down thunder it must have struck the touted offensive line of the Irish. Hunker Down Georgia.

Florida at Tennessee

The Swamp Reptiles from Gainesville had a warm-up game scheduled last week. However, Aunt Irma decided to make an unwelcome visit to the state of Florida last weekend. There is no lost love between the state of Florida with any of the states to the north of the sunshine state, particularly when the topic is pigskinology. However, we all send our prayers to those who suffered Aunt Irma’s ire.

The Coonskin Candy Stripers from Knoxville dodged a bullet in the game against the Slide Rule Jockey’s and cruised to another win last week against the Little Sisters of the Poor. Dean of Football Jim McElwain’s team looked dismal against Harbaugh’s striped rodents in an opening game loss. And, many of his stars are still in detention hall. It is said that McElwain has been secretly texting “The Old Ball Coach” to get advice for his woeful offense. Tennessee ain’t great, but they have more firepower than the Swamp Lizards.

Lilly’s loser: Florida


LSU at Mississippi State

Ed “Drano Voice” Orgeron takes his boys from the bayou to northeast Mississippi and Starkville Saturday night. This match between the Bayou Bengals and the Bully Dogs will show which squad is going to be a contender against Darth Saban and his Evil Empire in the SEC West.

Head Kennel Keeper Dan Mullen has a great signal caller and has pulled off upsets before in Stark Vegas. Drano Voice and his cats from the swamp have too much talent in all three areas, offense/defense and special teams.

Lilly’s Loser: Mississippi State


Posted by Presbyterian Padre

Clemson vs. Louisville:

Saturday night the boys from Clemson roll into Louisville to tangle with Petrino’s Dirty Birds.  The last two years have been nail-biters with the Tigers walking away victors.  Lamar Jackson will be dancing like Michael Jackson in a Coca-Cola commercial with the cats on his heels.  Expect feathers and claws to be flying under the lights of ESPN and the watchful eye of a national audience.  But in the end, Dabo and the Gang will walk away with feathers in their mouths and check in the win column.  Lilly’s Losers: Louisville

Lilly’s Losers: Louisville


Notre Dame vs. Boston College:

The Fighting Irish and the Eagles have two things in common: helmet colors and records.  Both want this game bad, particularly the Leprechauns after fumbling away the chance for a victory last week against the Georgia Junkyard Dawgs.  There’s not much to worry about in Beantown for the Irish.  Even a Brian Kelly team won’t manage to lose this one. 

Lilly’s Losers: Boston College







Lilly’s Losers is in honor of Leonard Postero who created the original Leonard’s Losers. Many fans, to this day, love the wit and humor of his football prognostications.

These musing are just for fun during the high school and NCAA football season.

Also, we will miss our friend Shaw Carter. He was a better man than all of us!


The team:


Buttermilk- John N. Lilly III

Jungle Cat- JC Smith

The Bookkeeper- Rusty Hopkins

Presbyterian Padre- Pastor Stacey Co

A. D. Winston



Raymond James is not affiliated with Hall County High School Football, NCAA Football or any of the teams named herein.  Opinions expressed are those of the authors and are not necessarily those of Raymond James.



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